I'm having extended migraines...I had a massive one on Saturday night/Sunday morning, and it's come and gone intermittently since then. Woo...

So I'm off chocolate. I'm really craving it too, sometimes. Oaty biscuits don't solve everything! I wish they did, that'd be awesome. It seems only dark chocolate's a trigger, but I'm not sure yet...so I'm off milk choc too. --_-- I know, I know, milk chocolate's not real chocolate... =P

I wish I wasn't so ill all the time...not much I can do though...I was born ill, after all. I doubled my dose of Propranolol as directed by ze neuro...I nearly hit the floor! It seems funny now...anyway.

Things are quiet...I've been promised it's all kicking off in the next couple of weeks, I've got drama schemes and Amnesty actions, ftw!

Ow...

I were off school today, cos I've finished my exams =3 It was quite nice, I slept in then sorted out some technological trickery to do with my iPod, so I've got that sorted now...went to the hospital to get my head checked over, they've found nothing wrong with me and after, oh...10 years on the Paediatric Neurology list I are discharged! But they say I'm welcome to come back and do work experience in two years time...um. I might, actually.

I'm going to sort out my files now, before I go back to school tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to getting up at 6.30am again, I've been able to sleep in ofr the past two weeks or so...then I have Torchwood at nine, which should be fun.


Yes, I know, everyone knows Heath Ledger's dead. But it's still sad...I was in second year and I wanted to give his character in '10 things I hate about you' a massive hug. Because that movie, although soppy and unrealistic, was pretty good. I'm looking forward to Batman now, but it might be too weird to face seeing it for a while.

I've been on my feet all day, I was asked to go on the till as soon as I got into work, and stayed there for the rest of the day...ouch.

We watched the last episode of Shark over dinner, which was quite entertaining. After my dad has left my brother to this party that he's going to, we're going to watch House, because my grandparents came over just as it was starting on Thursday night.

I went to the hospital yesterday, to Neurology - it was mostly just finding out about my headaches, what they would do about them, and prescribing me new medicine, which they hope will help more than co-codamol. =/

I wish something was properly, diagnostically wrong with me, rather than just being an emotional hormonal teenage wreck.

Anyway. Today was...uninteresting. I made a pizza from scratch, dough, sauce and all, because I was that bored. Sometimes I want to be more independent, less nervous, because then I might learn to let go of the 'friends' that are only making me feel worse. I wonder whats' worse, not having friends, or having friends that don't want to speak to you? Either way, it does wonders for my self-esteem. The people I trusted with my life and call my 'best friends' I have known for roughly three years. That's not a very long time, is it? (is it?)

Pff. I'm going to the doctor's soon, again. I'll see what she can do because I'm not sure if I can take valoid with paracetamol, and it's not a lot of use really; I'm not feeling nauseous, but I still have blinding headaches, and panic because of the valoid. Fantastique!

...I'm tired of being lonely. I don't want to resort to self-destruction to keep myself occupied, whatever form it takes, but it's the most fun. I don't often have the courage or...I dunno...'sense' I suppose, to organise even a trip into the town. Others think I don't want to go out, so they don't invite me anywhere, plus they've got friends that they '<33333!', and I hardly know anyone because it seems like I'm antisocial. Plus everyone else's friends like the same movies, the same bands/genres, or talk/act the same way...my friends just think I'm weird and nerdy, and that I'm sad because I only watch two TV shows, and I like local bands (that a: they haven't heard of and b: they think would be crap).

Smashing. I'm spending my days popping pills and drawing. Fun enough the first two days...

*sighs*

The solution to all my problems: 'Get a social life and/or more friends.' Simple enough, yes? NO! I don't fucking know how to! I don't even know how to start a conversation with anyone without stuttering or just feeling completely ashamed of myself.

Crapcrapcrap.

I am just going to not have friends. I don't work well with other people, anyway. I don't understand half of the emotions and thoughts running through people's heads.

Yeah...this is where the "EMO KID!" chants come in, I betcha.